How I found Meditation

I am so excited to be able to contribute to The Phoenix Rising Blog Site. I thank Sue for all her love and opportunities and for anyone that will read my perspective on this life. Let me know what you think.

I work part time at Phoenix Rising Books as well as run a Meditation group on a Wednesday evening and teach Reiki on Thursday evenings at the shop. I moved to Sydney from Melbourne about two years ago and after a shaky start, I found Phoenix Rising Books and Sue, who has given me the opportunity to be who I am.

My interests lie in the transformation of all people, animals and the earth. This assists us as we move through this life, helping us all to find the love and beauty in all situations, places and people. There is no right or wrong way, only a willingness to look within yourself, to find your hidden, sometimes buried treasure. When your treasure chest is opened as you open your heart, your essence, beauty, creativity and love will become part of you. As you discover the beauty of being who you are, you will also realise all your wisdom and answers lie here also.

Some Books that have inspired me:
The Spiral Dance: A rebirth of the Ancient Religion - By Starhawk
The Kryon series of 10 books - By Lee Carroll
Radical Forgiveness: Making Room For The Miracle - By Colin C Tipping
The Power of Now - By Eckhart Tolle
Alchemy of Nine Dimensions - By Barbara Hand Clow and Gerry Clow
The Pleiadian Agenda - By Barbara Hand Clow
Pleiadian Workbook - By Amorah Quan Yin
Wherever You Go, There You are - By Jon Kabat-Zinn
Creative Visualisation - By Shakti Gawain

Meditation helps us to become responsible for the thoughts that flow in and from our minds. We always have the ability to change, transform and heal any words and thoughts that may flow from our mind, our inner dialogue. We have made our minds so powerful with the illusions we feed ourselves everyday. Messages come through on all physical levels reminding us that we are not good enough and we need new clothes, make up, cosmetics, a different job, a better car, a bigger house a more caring partner, that earns lots of money and is successful.

Do any of these things really matter? Are they going to make you happy? For years I looked outside of myself for happiness, thinking that once I had every thing I thought, would make me happy, maybe I could accept myself, everything would be great and I could finally be happy. I had allowed my head to do a number on me, as I fed into the illusion of fear that this society perpetuates on all levels. What I put out there came back to me. Be mindful of your thoughts and actions; remember you reap what you sow.

I thought if I did the right thing (what ever that is) as far as my parents, friends and society were concerned, I would be safe and good things would happen. Instead I became more and more disillusioned, unhappy, constantly looking for the next thing, person or information that would make me happy all to no avail.

All this time, unknown to me, I had been placing more and more layers around my self, able only to hear the constant negative talk in my head and not positive love talk from my heart. My inner dialogue had become unbalanced, as I could only hear one side, I had disconnected from my feelings and become cynical, logical, able to justify anything through my mind, all the time becoming more and more emotional, experiencing extreme highs and lows, depression and suicidal thoughts.

As I worked through a very dark period in my life, bit by bit I let go of the old and my life changed on all levels, I left a marriage, changed my work and lived by myself for the first time. My biggest fear in my life was being by myself. Your biggest fear will always come your way to help you to realise there is nothing to be fearful of. The Universe will only send you what you are capable of, to help you find your strength and become more of who you are.

One day after I had moved in to my own place, I went to the local shops and a shop I had never noticed before jumped out in front of me. I have no idea how long this shop had been here, but all of a sudden I could see it.

I was drawn to this shop, not really knowing why I wanted to go in. The name of this curious place was The Blue Angel Gallery.

When I entered I felt happiness and love, (like I had somehow, come home) but also fear, fear of what I may find out about myself.

This was to be the place where I started meditation and where I would eventually work. Life has a way of surprising you and this was one of those times. Finally I stop looking outside of myself and embarked on the biggest journey of all, the one that took me into my inner realms, I realised I had nothing left to lose as the foundations I had based my life on had crumbled away and I had no idea who I was, why I was here and what the hell I was meant to be doing.

That happened in 1998 and the shop no longer exists in Mt Waverley, but it will always exist within my heart. It is always with me, I carry it wherever I go, reminding me a place doesn’t make you spiritual. The spiritual part of ourselves, resides within and it is our responsibility to find it.

Through Martine and Toni, I had the opportunity to work with Tammy at Heart and Soul Centre. Martine was my teacher and to break out on your own can be a difficult thing. Tammy had an amazing vision that she manifested into Heart and Soul, she fully supported me on my journey of self-discovery and I will always be truly grateful for the opportunity for me to step into my own power. A wonderful place, training beautiful lightworkers, to find their own truth and step into their own power.

Now, I have moved to Sydney to be with an amazing man and I look forward to the next chapter, as we travel this life together. All things happen for a reason. Even more amazing, I found Phoenix Rising Books, where the wisdom of Sue and the talents of Judith, Lorraine and Sarah fully support me with love as I move forward, once again I am so grateful for this life.
The Adventure continues...